What to Say and What Not to Say to Someone with Depression?

Knowing what to say and what not to say to someone with depression is not easy. A depressed person is usually very vulnerable and needs mindful and loving support. That is why you should be careful with your words when talking to a depressed person. This guide looks at what to say and what not to say to someone with depression.

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What Are the Best Things to Say to Someone with Depression?

Tell the Depressed Person You Care

Simple words such as “I care about you” can mean the word to a depressed person. Depressed people usually feel as if the whole world is against them. A gentle and warm hug can show that you care for them. Reach out to them and let them know that you think about them and they are important to you. It may sound awkward at first and if you are not sure what to say precisely, remember it does not have to sound poetic. Just express yourself in a compassionate way that will show you care for the person.

Tell Them They Are Not Defective or Weak

Individuals with depression feel like there is always something wrong with them or they are weak. Even though depression is a mental illness, some people feel it is a character flaw. You need to reassure the depressed individual that this is just an illness brought about by a biochemical imbalance in their brain. That does not mean they are weak. Tell the person that it takes strength to fight depression, and since they are fighting it, they are stronger than they know.

What Not to Say to Someone with Depression and Anxiety?

Telling Them to Cheer Up

If any depressed person would easily cheer up, they would do it more often. Telling them to cheer up only adds salt to the injury. Avoid telling these people common phrases such as:

• Just smile
• Think positively
• Snap out of it

Avoid bombarding them with motivational speech but rather emphasize understanding what they are going through and spend time with them, showing them they are valued.

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Invalidating Their Feelings

This is another thing you should not do to someone with depression. If a depressed individual opens up to you, give them a non-judgmental space to do that. Below are phrases you should never say to depressed individuals:

• All that is just in your head
• You don’t look sad
• People have gone through worse
• Stop bothering yourself

Dismissing someone’s emotions means they will not open up to you or assume you are dramatic. Instead, it would help if you told them things like:

• You are sorry they are in that situation
• Depression is not their fault
• Treatment can help, and they should seek the services of a professional therapist

Blaming Them

Blaming depressed individuals because of their situation will only make things worse. In most cases, depression happens due to factors you have no control over. These could be age, stress, genetics, gender, serious illness, or brain chemistry. Uttering words that appear to blame them because of the situation demoralizes the individual, feeling helpless. It makes them feel like social outcasts. Instead, remind these people that it is not their fault they are depressed and they should not feel weak or like an outcast.